I try not to write reviews directly after watching a movie. I want to be able to breathe and decide if a film was as good or as bad as my initial impression. Unfortunately, for The Charnel House, I think I took too much time before writing this one because I had to force myself to recall it. That's never a good sign, at least when I have to write a review... afterwards though, sure, I can use that space to remember more useless info like the frame data for Ryu in Street Fighter V.
When a mass of human remains are found in the basement of a meat packing factory, the owner jumps through the clock on the top floor while cradling his son. The only thing is we see this twice, and the second time the son isn't with him, but hiding in a closet. As the son is lead out by police he looks up at the broken clock to see himself staring down at him. Skip to "present day" and a couple buys the abandoned factory to make the most bullshit bourgeois lofts ever. I'm talking voice and iPhone activated everything bullshit. The couple's daughter befriends a ghost boy that is present in the building and as I'm writing this I realized just how much I don't care about this film.
When it's all said and done, The Charnel House feels loose. There's an A-to-B plot going on but there are so many subsections to A that when it all comes together the substance of this movie has slipped through the cracks. I liked the concept they were attempting to go for but when the time came for the big reveal we already knew what was behind the curtain.
I give The Charnel House 1 Charnel (from Image Comics) out of 5:
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