Die! Die! My Darling! (1965) 1h 37m

This is turning into the "Week of the Hammer" because we've got another one here from my cheap Hammer Films Collection.  This film was what sold me on buying the set because with the Misfits song being so good, obviously the movie has to be.  Right?  Danzig wouldn't lie to me, would he?  Sure, he'd have me kicked out of a concert if I tried to take a picture of his gut but... young baby Danzy?

I made this face while watching this.

Die! Die! My Darling! opens on Patricia with her current fiancé.  She tells him that the mother of her prior, now deceased, fiancé has sent Patricia a letter and she would like to visit the mother.  The fiancé continues to London and Patricia travels to Mrs. Trefoile's home.  Upon her initial arrive Mrs. Trefoile just seems to be a still mourning mother and overly pious woman.  It's when Mrs. Trefoile's zealous nature bubbles to the surface that Patricia attempts to leave but finds herself held captive by a mad woman.  Can she escape befor she is murdered in the name of her dead ex-fiancé?

Okay, I described that much better than this film is.  Don't misunderstand me, Tallulah Bankhead fucking kills it as Mrs. Trefoile, but all of the other characters I don't really care about.  The husband and wife duo that had been Mrs. Trefoile's helpers and accomplices are just grifters and Donald Sutherland's simple Joseph serves no purpose aside from being muscle.

The film itself is a bit of a crawl.  A majority of it consists of Patricia being locked in a room and attempting to escape or Mrs. Trefoile descending further into madness.  I do like that the breaking point for her is having a stash of all her sinful items and then doing the crazy wide lipstick ring around her mouth.  Other than that, Danzig has bad taste in movies.  Actually, Danzig has taste in very slow moving films because I've watched Where Eagles Dare and it was a crawl too.  I have a copy of THX 1138 which I haven't watched yet, but if it's slow then Danzig is getting an angry tweet!

I give Die! Die! My Darling! 2 Misfits singles out of 5:

Bloody Pit of Horror (aka: Il Boia Scar Latto) (1965) 1h 27m

My version of this film came from another box set so I didn't get this cover art.  If I would've seen that this was "based on the writings of the Marquis De Sade" then I would've made a hard pass.  Not because I have anything against the Marquis De Sade but because I have a thing against anything that attempts to be "based" on his writings.  Except for Quills.  Quills is a good film.

Bloody Pit of Horror opens with the Crimson Executioner being taken to his own torture room to be killed in an iron maiden.  He apparently broke from his general executioner duties and used his own moral code to target individuals that he felt did not fit appropriately into society.  In present day, a photographer, producer, and a group of models all show up to a castle in order to do a photo shoot.  Apparently 60's Italians just showed up to shit unannounced and unplanned to do things because the castle is locked and one of the models scales the wall to drop down and unlock the door.  They stumble across the actual master of the castle and he says that they can stay but will leave tomorrow.  Accepting this generous offer the 60's Italians proceed to sneak around to try and find the wind cellar to raid it and in turn find the Crimson Executioner's set-up.  They decide to shoot photos on torture devices until one of them is accidentally killed by spikes.  This sets up a "return" of the Executioner and the eventual half-hour of softcore BDSM he inflicts of the females in the group with lots of breasts to gaze upon.

Marquis De Sade looking pissed
at all the things based on his work.

I hate that people used and still continue to use the Marquis De Sade as this shield to the fact that you just want to make some sort of safe torture porn.  It's okay to have non-conventional fetishes so long as consent exists between you and your partners and no one is permanently damaged.  It was the fucking mid-60's!  Actually I have no clue what Europe was like in the 60's so it could've been the opposite of the "free love" movement for all I know.

Bloody Pit of Horror exists as a lead-up until to the reveal and torture scenes.  This isn't so much a horror film as it is something you would catch at like 2AM on some cable channel as a young teen and you would think that you just struck stroke gold.  My copy was overdubbed but it doesn't help when there are some cinematically confusing reaction shots where the person doesn't show any emotion.  The characters in this film did nothing to bring about any concern or emotional connection to them.  Everyone was pretty much just an asshole with no respect for anyone or anything except themselves so I couldn't be bothered with them.

I chose this film because the title Bloody Pit of Horror sounds like it would be an early Misfits b-side but instead it ended up being the equivalent of some kids getting into their mom's make-up and fucking up while playing Last Caress in their parent's garage.  I saw it.  Now I will never see it again.

I give Bloody Pit of Horror 0.5 copies of Quills out of 5