Day 9: The Fog (2005) 1h 40m

John Carpenter has made some great films.  Unfortunately I never saw the original of this film so I can't comment on his version, but I'll assume it was probably good.  This remake I have renamed The Fart.

Quick sum up: Town founders were dick bags, plundered and murdered a ship full of people, then covered it up.  Now it's the present day and people are celebrating the founding of the town, but the ghosts of those on the ship come for revenge! In the form of a giant fart cloud!

Seriously, don't make your "fog" have a green tinge a bunch of the time.  Also, you go crazy on the CGI fog effect but use an overly obvious fog machine in other parts, and it looks like shit.  The ghosts were kind of cool looking, some of the deaths were cool, but I spent more time making fun of this film than taking it seriously.  Honestly, it was kind of hard to when they have the flashback at the beginning end with Fallout Boy's Sugar We're Goin' Down blasting as the transition.

As a personal annoyance (and because this is my blog) don't use the first chorus of a song and then have your DJ start talking right after it.  I heard what you did there!  I know where you live!

This remake might have been good for 2005, but in 2016 I found it to be more of a high school kid type movie more than anything.  You know, where a group of kids go and make fun of it, or where a couple go on a date and make out through most of it because the film wasn't interesting.  That's how babies are made, kids!  Teenage necking during boring film remakes!  BABIES!

I give The Fog 1 Shutterstock fart cloud out of 5:

Day 28: Bad Milo! (2013) 1h 25min

Ken Marino, Patrick Warburton, Kumail Nanjiani, Stephen Root, and the guy that played "Karl Hungus" from the Big Lebowski come together in this horror-comedy film.  You know if Karl Hungus is in it then it's probably going to be okay.  That's about it, okay.  Not great, not bad, but somewhere in between, where I don't mind the fact I watched it, but I probably won't watch it again.  Although I might suggest it to people if they like The State, or any of those people, or fart/poop jokes, or ever wanted to see Ken Marino screaming on a toilet a lot.  Different strokes for different folks...

The overall plot of Bad Milo! is that Ken Marino has been having issues with stress that have caused him stomach issues.  The stomach issues end up being some sort of demon creature (which has the best fake Mayan illustration) which will escape Ken's ass to kill the person that was causing him the stress and then return to his ass cavern.  The attacks get chalked up to "rabid raccoon attacks."

Ken eventually develops a friendly relationship with Milo to attempt to keep him from killing certain people but toward the end it all goes to fuck.  I'm not going to go into the details of it because this is one of those films that you might want to watch, at least once, just to see it.

Bad Milo! isn't overly funny.  It's mostly poop and fart jokes mixed in with awkward self esteem jokes and annoying family issues.  There is a part where multiple dildos are used as throwing weapons, but I'm leaving it like that.

I give Bad Milo! 2.5 fake dog poops out of 5: