Sacrifice (2016) 1h 31m

I've never been to Europe but, keeping with things I've learned from horror films, here's a list of things you shouldn't do:

1) stay in a hostel, because rich murder people will kidnap you
2) visit castles the locals tell you to stay away from, even if you have a contract with "The Count" or whomever owns that shit
3) be disrespectful to the Romani/Roma because that's just good travel etiquette and you shouldn't be a prick when abroad
4) visit random small inhabited islands, because cult murder people might kidnap you

Sacrifice breaks rule #4 because after having another miscarriage a doctor goes with her husband to the small Scottish island where he grew up.  They plan to adopt a child from the hospital/orphanage on the next island over.  However, the woman finds remains from a ritual killing buried on their land and this sets her on the path to finding out the truth about the island's inhabitants.

This isn't really a horror film.  At least not by my assumed guidelines of horror.  Aside from a few dull chase scenes there isn't any true sense of danger.  Some of the sets were really elaborate and well done.  I liked what I assume was a "ritual room" in the house.  My big question is why do you need to have engraved plates above the runed branding irons?  I would assume that you wouldn't need to label that as you should just know.  Kudos on the use of the Futhark rune set though, even if they did just make up a rune for "sacrifice."  Also, the pictures on the wall of fathers with adopted sons makes it seem like a creepy NAMBLA club. Come to think of it, they don't really ever give us a proper explanation of the group either and the dad makes some really misogynistic comments to our heroine...

I think my biggest complaint about Sacrifice is that it becomes so focused on the action and the escape toward the end that they get sloppy with continuity and execution.  For example, they're watching the woman run from room to room on a security camera, but despite someone standing there and still watching the cameras they don't see her and her husband start to escape with a third person?  Then he's watching security camera footage of a fight that is obviously just regular footage they threw an effect on because, A) a security camera facing some piping is pointless, B) the shot is perfectly framing the actors, and C) the camera sways with the action.  If I'm yelling at the TV about your slapdash fucking work then you fucked up hard.  Fucking sacrifice this movie to the devil in hopes you get a better movie or, like, an ice cream sandwich.

I give Sacrifice 1 bagpipe out of 5 only because I like cults in movies:

Day 24: Let Us Prey (2014) 1h 32m

I've started this post a few times now and each time I find myself getting stuck.  That's not to say that there isn't a lot to mention, or specific things to pick out and branch off on.  It's more of a way of stating that this film came from a lot of crazy angles... and I mean crazy.

Let Us Prey is a UK film set in a small Scotland town.  Our primary character, Rachel, is a rookie police officer that, through the passage of the film, we find that she has been through and survived her own personal hell.  This is important because during the course of the film, every other character aside from one (whom I will get to in a moment) will be forced to face their greatest sins and it drives them to madness and death.

The extra character that I'm speaking of is named Six, and supposedly died many years ago.  Think of Six as a person that isn't quite an angel, but not a demon either.  He exists simply to make those with darker secrets know that he knows and in turn the souls are collected by the end of the evening.  Those that he collects range from a man that beats his wife, to a closeted homosexual police chief, to a doctor that murdered his family in an experiment to find the human soul.

During the course of the Let Us Prey the film itself becomes more and more extreme.  At first it ranges from normal rage and insanity to an eventual bible-verse-quoting-wrapped-in-barwire-with-a-shotgun crazy.  That's a thing that happens.  The police chief is attempting to dispose of the bodies of gay men he slept with and killed and just kind of snaps.  Well, I guess snaps further.  Snap crackle pop?  That might get a cease and desist.

I give Let Us Prey 3 Judgement cards out of 5:

Day 5: The Blood Lands (a.k.a. White Settlers) (2014) 1h 19m

You know what isn't a totally new idea?  Home invasion movies where the invaders wear animal masks!  Guess what this film has?

The Blood Lands (originally known as "White Settlers" for some reason I can't comprehend since these are white people going to white land) focuses on an English couple that moves into a home in the Scotland countryside.  I thought I recognized the actress from the British comedy Coupling, but it wasn't her.  Many sad faces should go here.  The guy's big credit was Tutor 4 in Billy Elliot the film.  I just heavy sighed while typing that.  It's a sigh of severe disappointment.

In the night, the couple is attacked by a bunch of men wearing some really good pig masks.  Where in the hell does one find such a well made pig mask in the middle of fuck all Scotland?!  Our invaders are Scottish nationalists (not so much the skinhead oi oi kind of nationalists, but more the hooligan national pride kind of nationalists... actually... they're almost the same).  Their goal isn't to kill our protagonists but rather scare them, drive them to a city in England, and leave them bound in a random park.  That's it.  The only actual kill comes from the woman smashing a guy's face with a 2x4.

About 20 minutes into this film I stopped caring.  It was slow, the main guy is an asshole, and the overall concept was something I've seen a million times.  The only change was the ending, which was anti-climactic.  Don't waste your time on this.  Either my fiancé or I thought this was going to be good at some point and added it to our "to watch" list on Netflix.  I immediately took it off our list.  I took that bullet so he won't have to!  That's love.  That's real fuckin'  from the heart love...

I give The Blood Lands 0 rain boot wearing teacup pigs out of 5: