Showing posts with label ventriloquist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ventriloquist. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell (1987) 1h 23m
I can't really do a real review for this one. It came up in the horror section but it's a combination of old horror film previews (apparently from some sort of cable access show?) mixed in with a plot of zombies watching the previews and some guy with a zombie ventriloquist dummy making bad dick jokes.
The previews were at least interesting. They tended to group some together by common threads. So you'd see Texas Chainsaw Massacre backed with Deranged. Both films were based on the serial killer Ed Gein and actually look similar, minus a giant with a chainsaw.
A few of the other previews have crazy gimmicks added to them where you don't even see much of the film but instead something like a reporter showing up and saying that someone has gone insane while watching the movie. You get throwbacks to the older horror warnings but instead of the times where they say things like "if you're scared to death then we'll pay for your casket" you get something like a bell cue during the movie so you can turn away from the graphic sex or violence.
Speaking of sex, holy fuck! There are just naked people everywhere. One film was pretty much just billed as having tits in 3D. One of the pairs of tits shown though had some weird inverted nipple hole thing going on. I don't want to see your weird 3D 70's hide-your-weed-in-there tits! There was also some sort of film with necrophiliac cult where a bunch of people were naked at the end of it.
There there were a ton of Exorcist rip offs. It was interesting overall to see just how many films wanted to cash in on something a bigger budget film did, or how many went in the other direction and made absolute randomness. Racism is also rampant. People of color depicted as savages and attacking white people. There was one film named something like Africa: Blood and Gore which looked like a Faces of Death of terrible things that happened in Africa, but it comes across as just "look at how horrible and savage these black people are!!" Fuck that film ever existing. It's no wonder shitty racism existed then and still exists. It's the kind of shit I'd hear about growing up in a small mountain area and people believed that shit. Now I'm angry again.
It was good though to see some previews for some better known films; Night of the Living Dead, Wizard of Gore, Corpse Grinder, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I actually forgot I own Wizard of Gore and have yet to watch it until I saw it pop up there. Maybe on a day off I'll get to that.
So, as I said, I can't review a collection of previews with some shitty skits in between. The skits would get a one just for juvenile behavior, but that's it. I would say that overall Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell is worth watching if, for nothing else, you want to see some horror history.
Labels:
corspe grinder,
film,
horror,
low budget,
mad ron,
mad ron's prevues from hell,
movie,
night of the living dead,
preview,
review,
texas chansaw massacre,
ventriloquist,
wizard of gore,
zombie
Monday, June 5, 2017
Dead Silence (2007) 1h 29m
I swear that there is an 80's horror film that has this same poster. At first I thought it was Silent Night Deadly Night 5 but that just looks like a terrible X-mas card you get from some relatives you forgot with their shit kid on it. Then I thought it might have been Dolls but that's just a baby doll holding her own eyes. The only thing I can narrow it down to is the Goosebumps book Night of the Living Dummy. I also thought this was a remake of said imaginary 80's film that I fucking swear I remember seeing on the shelf in Phar-Mor's shitty video section!! Why do you haunt my life?!
Dead Silence must've taken every single horror thing they could think of and whipped it at the wall. Whatever stuck became the plot of this movie. Buckle the fuck up because here we go: Jamie (the actor that plays Jason Stackhouse in True Blood, I'm not looking up his name again) gets a weird ventriloquist dummy in the mail from an unknown sender.
I'm stopping this already to say that if you get a fucking ventriloquist dummy in the mail and you didn't order that shit, burn the fuck out of it! Burn it and then pee pee on the ashes! If you did order the ventriloquist dummy then you are a terrible person and I should pee pee on you.
So this dummy shows up and murders Jamie's wife by having her jaw distended and tongue cut out. We later find out that this is actually a common for people in the town. Apparently there was a famous female ventriloquist that murdered a child and had he tongue cut out by the family and some other towns people. Here spirit haunted her 101 (yes, fucking 101) dummies (which were all buried in coffins around her) and when one of the dolls showed up the ghost killed. OOOOOoooooooo spooky. Oh, also, she only kills you if you scream. You can do anything you want, but if you scream then you're dead.
There are a ton of times I wanted people to just burn something and be done with it. Old house/performance hall that was her home: don't look around in it, burn that shit to the ground. Dummy that probably killed your wife: torch it. Random pond you have to cross to get to the house/hall: dump oil in it, burn it. Light that shit up like Lake Erie in '69! Dead Silence: eh... maybe wave a lighter under it and if it burns up then it burns up. No big loss.
I give Dead Silence 1 piece of nightmare fuel out of 5:
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Labels:
dead silence,
dummy,
film,
gay,
geek,
ghost,
horror,
jason stackhouse,
lake erie,
movie,
nerd,
review,
true blood,
ventriloquist,
ventriloquist dummy
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