Friday, July 8, 2016

Day 26: House of Good and Evil (2013) 1h 48m

There's an old Alka-Seltzer commercial where a guy said "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." I can't believe I watched this whole movie, and no fizzy tablet water will make this feeling go away.

House of Good and Evil revolves around Maggie and Chris, a dysfunctional couple that lost their baby when Chris pushed Maggie. Chris is a fucking scum bag in this film, don't let him fool you. After the loss of their child they move to a duplex in the deep country. Why this house was turned into a duplex, I have no clue because that would mean that two families want to live in the middle of fuck all. Also, Duplex of Good and Evil doesn't sound as scary as House of Good and Evil.

There's a second bedroom with a black door that is locked up and Maggie keeps hearing the a phone coming from the room despite there not being any phone lines. There are also other weird noises and things she keeps experiencing but Chris doesn't believe her. She eventually breaks into the other side of the duplex to meet her elderly reclusive female neighbor. After realizing the neighbor reminds her of herself, she fleas. This parallel between the neighbors and Maggie and her husband exist a lot, including the violent and abusive male.

This all culminates in the neighbor woman telling Maggie a story about how she finally stood up to her husband and after a self "baptism" in a creek, Maggie returns full of self-worth and a "fuck you" attitude. She calls Chris on his shit and threaten hims with an axe. The neighbor guy comes out, says terrible misogynistic things, and kills Chris. Maggie kills that guy and then kills the old woman. The property manager comes after and finds Maggie in bed with her dead husband. It turns out that Maggie apparently poisoned her husband the night they first moved in and everything after that was all a hallucination. All of Maggie's interactions with the neighbors were fake as well because two perfectly well adjusted individuals drive up while the police are taping things off and say they're the neighbors and have been in Florida.

I can't say I didn't see this coming. All in all, this is a plot that has been done before and done at a much better pace in much shorter films. House of Good and Evil would have been better titled as "Turd Duplex" so I knew what I was getting into.

I give House of Good and Evil 0 popsicle stick houses out of 5:

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