The Reaping (2007) 1h 39m

 

I love films that involve Satanic cults.  I dig this plot device because it's always more in line with some sort of hold-over "Satanic panic" idea of Satanism as opposed to LaVey Satanism or  Luciferianism.  It's as if everything has to be the extreme opposite of anything that people view as holy.  I also love biblical references, especially when it comes to something like the 10 plagues of Egypt.  This film served up both of these, so how well does it deliver?

The Reaping follows Katherine, an ex-priest that spends her time going to sites of assumed miracles and debunking them through scientific means.  As an aside, I would 100% be down for this as a career.  Katherine gets a call from a friend/priest warning her that photos he has of her burned themselves into a backwards Blue Oyster Cult logo and this is a sign of something to come.  She is then called to the town of Haven, Louisiana (it doesn't exist, I checked) because their river has turned to blood.  During her investigation the other plaugues continue to manifest all while she uncovers a secret Satanic cult attempting to bring about the Anti-Christ.

I liked this movie more than I should have.  The random made up prophecy of bringing about the Anti-Christ was cheesy in a good way.  Katherine's back story could've been flushed out a bit better because her reason for leaving the cloth comes from such an extreme situation it's hard to believe.  It mainly exists so we have a reason for the friend-priest to be in this film and be in contact with her.  The Reaping pulls a twist and an ending reveal, both of which caught me off guard.  So kudos to you 11-year-old movie.

I give The Reaping 4 BOC albums out of 5:

Day 24: Odd Thomas (2013) 1h 37m

First off, RIP Anton Yelchin.  It's kind of a shame that you'll be known more as Chekov in the Star Trek reboots than anything else.  Not that I'm saying Odd Thomas should be the number one thing he's known for, but he should get recognition for this.  It was a fun horror comedy.

Odd Thomas (which is literally his name) has psychic abilities as well as the ability to see ghosts and demon-like entities that thrive on feeding off evil, chaos, and death.  After noticing a large group of these demons following "Fungus Bob" around, Odd begins to uncover an insane mass murder plot for the devil.  Not that the devil asked for it, but some fake "satanic" stuff gets thrown in and the plan is to do it for Satan and then probably some sort of honor.  This sounds really random but it's because I don't want to give too much away.  Why?  Because you should see it.

I'm not sure how true it is to the Dean Koontz book of the same name as I've never read any Koontz.  For some reason, despite him being a contemporary of Stephen King, I never see a Koontz books and think of supernatural thrillers.  King's son Joe Hill?  Sure.  Brian Keene?  Yes, Dean Koontz? Idkwtfbbq.

Regardless of the source material and your knowledge of or inexperience with it, Odd Thomas made me think of films like John Dies at the End (which I mention on here a lot) and Shawn of the Dead.  I'm not saying it's as good as those films in overall humor, but it's not far off.

I give Odd Thomas 4 unrelated but sweet lizard men images out of 5:

Day 25: Starry Eyes (2014) 1h 38min

In my personal Netflix browsing I passed this movie a bunch.  I probably could have kept living my life passing it... for the rest of my life... until I died..

Starry Eyes revolves around the life of Sarah and her willingness to do anything to be an actress... including blowing a weird old white guy while cult members stand around and watch.  I'm getting ahead of myself though.  So Sarah is a mediocre actress that has a day job at what I thought was a Hooters rip off but was really just a weird family version of Hooters revolving around potatoes and potatoes accessories.

Sarah is prone to some terrible fits when she sucks at life.  She will scream and pull her hair.  At one particular audition she blows it as usual and then the freaks out in the bathroom.  One of the people that gave her the audition catches her and has her do it again in front of the other producer person guy (whom I know from the Devil's Carnival films and an Emilie Autumn video).

Sarah gets a callback where they have her strip in the dark and take random flash pictures of her.  Apparently this is a throwback to an actual audition David Lynch had someone do, or so IMDB tells me.  Eventually Sarah gets another call back which is to blow the old white guy but she bails.  Her hipster friends/not friends feel bad her for and whatever.  They all kind of suck and remind me of half of the faux artists that exist in New Orleans (even though this is L.A.  Every city has them.).

So after taking what I assume is exstacy she makes up her mind to suck that guy off.  The entire process is creepy as he's talking about her being buried in the earth and being reborn with them in the stars.  It's the worst pillow talk.  If I was gonna blow an old white guy and he said that kind of stuff to me I'd leave based on that.  Stardom be damned!  Gramps is talkin' crazy with his dick out!

Immediately after she begins to get really sick and kind of lose her mind.  These scenes are super nasty where she does stuff like pull a nail off and vomits worms.  Eventually she just loses her shit and kills all of her hipster crew at which point the people in robes instantly appear and there is some ritual of old white people in the Hollywood Hills.  She is literally reborn out of the earth and bald as fuck.  Also she might be some sort of reborn deity?  She kills her roommate, puts on a wig and some sexy clothes that were left as a "birthday present" from the cult, and that's it.

Like previous films I've blogged about, this movie could have been much shorter.  It also could have a lot of the friends shit cut.  It wasn't bad in the sense of "this movie is terrible," it was just bad in the sense of "this isn't keeping my interest."  Seriously, I was reading a small self-published book about a 70 year old hiking the Appalachian Trail while watching this.

I give Starry Eyes 1 Leviathan cross/sulfur symbol out of 5: