Ranbhool (2010) 1h 50m

Some people say that you can learn something from every experience you have.  I think that after watching this film the only thing I learned was to not trust dudes that wear tie dye and play guitar.  This isn't really new information for me.  I talk shit on hippies all the time.  So maybe this film didn't teach me anything, but rather just reaffirmed my dislike of hippies.

Ranbhool is an Indian film in which a man believes his music is essentially the music of god.  He is such a religious zealot over this thought that he has killed people that have prevented his music from getting out or say that they don't hear the message of god in it.  A teenage girl goes to her father's home with her younger sister and a friend and make contact with this crazy guy via the internet (as ya' do).  Using an Omegle style chat they view a video stream of him playing his music, but they miss him murdering his fiancé.  Everyone tracks everyone else down and it ends with hostages, a standoff, and someone's grandmother getting called in to stop all this shit!

This was not a film for me.  Pushing close to two hours is actually short for most of the Indian films I've watched but this one just kept drawing out scenes for too long.  We get a lot of our killer playing his music but it is literally just the same song over and over again with him jamming on some changes.  It's not even a good song!  I mean, maybe I'm missing the voice of god or whatever in it, but it was just sounded like shitty Phish, and I already hate Phish so imagine that!  I will say there is one moment I liked and it's right after he kills his fiancé and then he plays a guitar solo over her corpse.  That was one of the most metal things I've been privy to in a film.  Too bad it was a hippie solo!

I give Ranbhool 1 dirty hippy out of 5:

Day 15: Shelley (2016) 1h 32m

Sometimes in life we're given something, told it's one thing, but feel like it's something else.  For example, right now I'm eating some leftover Chinese food which is supposedly chicken, but I think this is pork.  This movie was listed under horror, had the subheading of thriller, but in reality it was neither of those... and also crap.

Shelley follows a Danish hippy couple where the wife is infertile.  They hire a maid to help around the home but eventually ask her to be a surrogate.  During the course of the pregnancy the surrogate experiences what she considers strange reactions to the fetus.  It causes her pain, strange aversions, sleepwalking, sickness, etc.  There is also an older hippy that does some reiki and pulls an angry dog out of the maid's head space.  Yeah, it was really as random as I made that seem.

The rest of the film isn't worth going into.  I will say that the baby doesn't really seem to be evil and I'm confused by the whole thing.  The pace of this movie was so slow that when you got a small piece of the plot you would forget it 15 minutes later when the next sliver of plot was introduced.  Then we're just stuck with hippies in a cabin for a long time.  I've been tempted to look up an in-depth plot analysis but I quickly realize that would serve no purpose as I'm not really invested in ever remembering this movie after I hit "publish."

In keeping with most of the films I've watched this cut, I give Shelley 0 stupid babies out of 5: