P (2005) 1h 50m

I have no clue what "P" stands for or is short for.  I'm letting you know this up front because if you are looking for answers, I don't have them.  If you have answers though, then hit me up at 30daysofplight@gmail.com and let me know what the hell the "P" means.  I think that pretty much sets the tone for this review as well.

Coming to us from Thailand, P focuses on a young girl (Aaw, later Dau) that is being raised by her grandmother.  While she attends school like the other children, Aaw is an outcast because her grandmother is the local witch and has been training her granddaughter in the craft.  When the matriarch becomes very ill Aaw attempts to get rice and medicine for her but is told they owe too much money to the local merchant woman.  In order to pay for their needs Aaw is tricked into being a prostitute at a club in Bangkok.  To survive, and get what she wants, Aaw uses what her grandmother taught her, but eventually forsakes the two rules she was told to never break: 1) never take payment for magick done, 2) never eat raw meat.  Breaking these rules lets the evil in...

There's a bit of a disconnect between the home and Bangkok sections of this film.  I can't tell if it's an intentional break but it felt like the film was heading in one direction but suddenly spun the wheel and ended up eating a raw pork salad in the city and letting everything go to shit.  There are a few other disconnects I faced while watching this but I think that they're more of a cultural difference and a misunderstanding on my part so I won't go into those.

Suangporn Jaturaphut does a great job in the role of Aaw/Dau as well as when acting as the evil version of Dau.  It's the subtle evil you find common in J/C/K/T-Horror but it is effective here.

If black magick and foreign horror aren't your thing, then at least look up the scene where Dau uses her darker magick for the first time and a scum bag gets his dick bit off by a snake.  More scum bags need their dicks bit off by snakes, at least in my opinion.

I give P 2 snakes out of 5:

Ghost House (2017) 1h 29m

At some point soon I would like to write a book that's an "everything I needed to know about life I learned from horror movies" type thing.  In it I plan on having a section on foreign travel because holy fuck do white tourists just do the dumbest shit!  Agreeing to ride out to the country in a foreign land with people you just met, yeah, fucking stupid!  Taking an object from something called a "ghost house," you're an idiot!  Basically being a tourist, you're probably an asshole, and I say that living in a city that is a tourist wonderland.

Ghost House sets us up with a couple on vacation in Thailand. On their first day they befriend two other tourists that are staying in their hotel.  After an evening of drinks and strippers our couple is convinced to go out to a remote spot because the fiancé is jealous of her man friend having lipstick on his face and she is told that she could get some cool pictures out there.  The other couple tricks them so that a spirit possessing their friend will possess our cranky lady.  Now, with the help of their tour driver (Gogo) our man seeks out all kinds of shaman and mystics to save his betrothed.  He has three days to do so before her soul is taken into the abyss.

This film had a really sharp reverse bell curve.  It started out strong, despite relying heavily on jump scares, but there were about 15-20 minutes where it just couldn't keep my interest.  By the end of the film it came back around and I want to create an award just to give to the actress that played the witch at the end (or whatever she might be called, my occult knowledge doesn't extend too far into Asiatic countries).  She by far has the best "fuck you I did it!" laugh I've ever heard.

As for our ghost woman, except for the very end she is shown in quick and jerky shots.  We get a few close-ups which end up disappointing because the facial appliance looks a bit rough.  I don't know if it's what they molded it out of, or the paint job, but it looks a bit too Halloween mask for me.  I've also been rewatching Syfy's FaceOff from the beginning and I'm finding myself more critical of stuff like that.  Curse you Glenn Hetrick!

I give Ghost House 2 ghost houses out of 5:

Day 4: Cam2Cam (2014) 1h 31m

If this film had balls I would fucking punt them sooooo hard just because I wouldn't want it to spawn any offspring.  Having that image firmly planted in your mind, know that this wasn't the worst film I've ever seen.  I just disliked it so much that I want to cause permanent bodily damage to it in order to preserve hope for our future.

Here's the rundown: An American girl, in Bangkok, thinks she's having webcam hanky panky with another female friend.  She realizes that something is up and then the person on the other end comes to her place, kills her, and cuts off her head.  Enter her sister coming to basically find her sister's head and what happened to her.  There's a series of bullshit and fake murder that leads her to find out that a group of people in the same apartment building as her sister.  They were doing some webcam hack/scam type deal and one of them took it too far and became a serial killer.  This guy gets killed half way through the damn movie by jumping in front of a truck.  The rest is just the lame unraveling of what happened, who was involved, and a bunch of severed lady heads underwater.  It's not worth explaining the actually workings of this plot or film.

The director of this film has some terrible back credits.  It's mostly sequels of sequels of horror movies past their prime.  In fact, the only thing he did I give a shit about was being a producer on Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.  Back to this bogus shit stain though, there is an over abundance of forced lesbianism in this film and it feels injected into the story.  It has the sense of "we're an independent film and this is artsy" pretentiousness to it.  Also, the chat language in this was absolute bullshit.  Nobdy typs lke this 4 n ntre cnvrsatn.  It's old people trying to be hip on what the kids do, even though these people are in their 20's and probably type like normal adults.

I felt like I was being dragged through this entire film.  The only smart line of dialogue was the one guy telling the sister "you traveled across the fucking planet for a head," which is true.  She's an idiot and your closure is bullshit.  Although, she got a box at the end of the film that I'm pretty sure was her sister's fish gnawed skull.  Fuck it.

I give Cam2Cam zero.  It doesn't even warrant me finding some image and making a rating scale for it.  It just gets a fucking zero.